Shattered: Duo's Reflection
by Emeraldas
Summary: Finally! The sequel to Shattered, from Duo's point of view! Sorry it took me so long. Lost my focus for a while. Thanks for reading and requesting!


Disclaimer: All of these characters are copywrited to Gundam Wing and its producers. ^^  
  
  
Watching that fragile figure glide across the floor, I felt she deserved my empathy. Her date for the occasion had left her high and dry...and so had mine. I, of course, tried to forget her like I always did, and like I had done for the last few months. A few months of jealousy and of selfish anger that had seemed an eternity. To forget her, at least for tonight, I waltzed up to a pretty raven-haired girl. "Hey, Baby," I grinned at her. She cast me a look. Oh, yeah, she was interested. "You'd better step away from the bar 'cause you're so hot, you're melting all the ice."  
Her arm was a flash of pale skin and of blue silk that I barely saw and had no time to avoid it. My cheek was stinging then, and I was staring at her back as she marched away. "Geez," I mumbled. "That was my best line." As I massaged my poor cheek, a methodical clapping began behind me. I spun around to confront he who dared mock Shinigami.  
My jaw went slack, finding myself facing Relena herself. She laughed, and I felt my face twist into the accustomed scowl I saved just for her. "Has that line ever actually worked for you, Duo?"  
"All the time," was my matter of fact reply. I watched twin eyebrows shoot into the air skeptically. I hated that look. "Okay, okay. Never. But, I can try, right?"  
"Right." She rolled her eyes and started away.  
Finding myself alone again, I began to follow. "All right, Relena. If you know so much about picking up women," I mocked, this thought actually amusing me. "Why don't you tell me your little secrets?"  
Relena continued to walk away, acting as if she hadn't heard me for a moment. "Have you ever tried simply telling a girl the honest truth? Like how pretty her eyes are or how her hair shines in the light?"  
I blinked once, then twice. The truth? That was so simple, it might actually work! Then again, what did she know? "Hey, Relena! Wait up!"  
Quizzically, she turned and waited for me to make it to her through the crowd. "Yes?"  
"Did you know," I began, my mocking grin stretching from ear to ear. "That you have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen? And the way your hair shines in the light is-"  
Disaster. I was out of words and, worse. Sometime during my taunt, the grin had slid from my face. I had only meant it to be a joke, but she had known there was something more. Some truth behind the teasing.  
"It's, well," I stumbled, seeking for something to break the tension.  
Relena finished for me with a slight, amused quirk of her lips. "Shiny?"  
I smiled gratefully and said, "Yeah. Shiny." There was an awkward silence, in which I realized, and not for the first time, how shiny her blonde hair really was in this light. I finally worked up enough courage to ask, "Wanna dance?"  
  
The night stretched on according to the clocks, but to me it felt no longer than the first turgid ten minutes we'd danced. By midnight, the dance was ending and I was beside her on the very beach I sit on now while I reminisce. She had her shoes off and was carrying the black flats in one hand as she strolled through the waves gently lapping onto the shore.  
I walked a few feet away, out of reach of the waves trying to wet the shoes that were still on my feet. My eyes, however, were on Relena as she carefully stepped from one place to the next. She must have noticed me staring, for she turned to me and flashed me a brilliant smile. "What?"  
"Nothing. Just watching the moon," I lied smoothly, and she turned to look as well.  
It seemed as though it were one of those planned occurrences authors think up to bring their characters closer together. Just as she turned back to me, again giving me that same dazzling smile, her foot struck something, and the diplomat fell forward with a small splash.  
In the seconds it had taken me to reach her, she had pushed herself off of her stomach and onto her side. Her body shook a little, and at first I thought she was crying. When I moved to squat beside her and help her to her feet, she shook her head and continued laughing. I wasn't sure what she had found so funny about falling and ruining the white velvet dress, so I remained in my squat to try to figure it out.  
Finally, she grasped my arm, and I helped her to her feet. I could already feel the water that had soaked through my shoes and over my feet and ankles. She was still giggling a little, and she held up her hand. There was only one shoe there, and suddenly I understood and began to laugh myself.  
"The moon is beautiful, isn't it, Duo?" She spoke softly, her eyes again on the silver orb in the darkened sky. I had still been laughing, but the solemn tone she talked in quieted me. I lifted my head to look as well, and nodded in agreement. It was rather pretty, but I didn't really care about that or my soaked shoes at the moment.  
Our eyes met when I returned my gaze to her, and it held as I slowly leaned forward. Just as our lips would have met, she shook her head and stepped back. I was disappointed, but also kind of glad she hadn't just allowed me to kiss her. When we'd left, I hadn't planned to, but the moment had seemed so perfect.  
"Duo, I'm sorry." She began to walk again, face turned downwards. "I can't."  
I understood, and I told her so as I jogged to catch up with her. I thought I saw a small smile light her face, but then we were entering the streets again. She was walking quickly down the sidewalks, her head held high and proud. I walked behind her, wondering how I had just managed to screw up my big and only chance with her. Don't get me wrong. As long as she was happy, I was happy. But, if I had a chance with her, why did I have to blow it?  
  
Distantly, I was aware of the houses thinning out, each slowly growing more grand than the last until mansions were set on every other block-long field of well-trimmed green grass. We walked in silence the whole way. Just as I was ready to disappear with my tail between my legs, she stopped so suddenly I almost ran into her.  
"Duo?" She turned as she spoke, looking at me quizzically. We were only inches apart, and I could hear my brain telling me mockingly that I was about to blow it. Again. "Why are you following me home?"  
"Err," I stuttered, trying to find a logical reason. "Well, I just..."  
"You what?" It wasn't accusing. Just curious.  
"Um. I don't know?" I flinched. Smooth, Duo. Real smooth.  
"Mm." She began to walk again, although this time backwards. Her hands were knotted in front of her, clasping each other comfortably.  
I gulped, staying where I was and afraid to move a foot. Was I supposed to follow? Or did she want me to leave? And why was she smiling like that? Why do women have to act so weird?  
She was a good few meters away before she said, "I think its kind of sweet."  
Relief, and then pride. I felt my chest swell. She thought I was sweet! Of course, I was, but for her to notice was a miracle! I stepped towards her, and she stopped in one of the rare streetlights along this street. I heard myself sigh, and I hesitantly walked towards her. Now what was she doing?  
As I approached her, her smile widened as she pressed both arms against her slim body. I had the brief image of a small child standing there, showing off her dress for a new friend. Again, I stopped and nearly choked on my own breath when she asked, "So, are you going to kiss me or what?"  
  
I had. What followed was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. At first, I was sure she would go back to Heero and forget about me again. For a week straight she cried for him, and I would never admit to her how much it hurt to see her like that. Instead, I held her close and told her it would all be all right.  
Once she regained her composure, we fought. The fights weren't just lovers' spats, but real arguments over the most idiotic things. I started a good share of them, but so did she. We nearly broke up several times, but we always held onto each other. I didn't want to lose her. Just when I thought we would be okay, I screwed up.  
  
Remembering the look in her eyes the day she finally found out about Hilde and I, I still want to cry. There was more hurt there than I had ever seen in any person's eyes. I was going lose her because I had been stupid, and I had done something I knew was wrong. Hilde was nervously wringing her hands as if she thought we would be sent out to face a firing squad. Looking back to the spot on the floor I had been staring at all along, I waited for her to say something that would break my heart in two.  
"I do forgive you. It's your choice, Duo."  
Choice? What choice? I had messed up. I deserved to be dumped out on the street with the garbage. "My choice?" I would have gone on, but the look she gave me stopped me cold.  
"You can stay with me or go with her."  
For an eternity, I stared at her. It was all I could do. Jumbled thoughts raced through my mind, and I thought I'd heard her wrong. Then, I managed her name. "Relena." I wasn't even sure what I was going to say, but the words were pouring out like water from a faucet. "I love you too much to let this happen. I'll love you forever. And, if you take me back-"  
"I will!" I felt her arms around me, and I hugged back tightly. I swore to never again hurt her. I couldn't risk losing her again.  
  
Hurting her once was enough. It was Halloween, not more than a week later. Slowly, we were moving on. Things were, once again, as they had been except for her eyes. The aquamarine orbs never sparkled anymore, and I thought I was crazy when I saw they had grown a shade or two duller. It was like looking into a painting's eyes. In paintings, it seems there's something there just beneath the paint but you can never put your finger on it. Relena told me that one night, and now I wish that I had listened more to how she had said it, to remember the expression on her face as she spoke.  
I stepped into her room that afternoon, ready to display the costume I had found. I was going to be a gorilla, and she had planned on being Jane Goodall. I wasn't sure who that was, but she assured me it was a fitting idea. The first thing I saw was a knife, and then blood. I felt my legs begin to move.  
Before I knew it, I was grappling with her for the weapon, her yells muffled through my gorilla mask. "Relena! Stop it!" I was desperate, and just when I almost had the blade wrestled, I tripped. Her vanity crashed to the floor, and I sprung to my feet.  
She was laughing, laughing so hard I thought I would be driven insane along with her. I reached for the knife, this time knocking it from her hands. I heard it hit the floor, and I thought it was over. I thought I had won. "Relena! Don't-"  
Something cracked, and then blood exploded from Relena's side. She fell into my arms, smiling as though she had just met the man of her dreams. I set her down gently, tearing off the heated mask and looking towards the door. Seeing Heero there made something in my heart crack.  
"Heero, she was trying to stab herself and she started screaming. I tried to get the knife and I tripped and," My hands moved quickly in senseless exaggerations, and I ground to a halt as Heero knelt beside Relena.  
The gun dropped to the floor, and Heero gently touched her forehead as if checking for fever. I turned, looking for something to put on the bloody wounds. Behind me, Heero was speaking quietly. Apologizing. "Relena, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shoot you, Relena."  
Finding nothing but the sheets on an unmade bed, I tore one off and shot Heero a glare as I pressed it against the hole in her side. There was so much blood. Was this blood really all from Relena? It couldn't be.  
Relena's body jerked. Her face twisted into a pained expression and almost immediately relaxed again. I couldn't stand to see her like this. She looked so fragile.  
"You'll be okay," I told her, over and over again. "Just fine." I swallowed the lump in my throat, looking at Heero. I wanted to ask how could he have shot her? How could he just sit there with that damned blank look on his face? Didn't he understand that he had nearly killed her? "You can't die. You can't."  
Even as the paramedics examined her, I repeated those words to her. Heero remained where he was, simply staring at where she had lain. I watched the paramedics frown, and then shake their heads to one another. A sheet, this one belonging to the ambulance whose siren suddenly died outside, was unfurled like a flag and placed over Relena's pale figure.  
I followed them as they wheeled her outside, clinging to the knowledge she couldn't die. I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged it off. The man frowned disapprovingly at me, then turned his attention to his walkie-talkie. "D.O.A."  
Dead On Arrival.  
  
An occasional wave washes up, spreading sea green water over the amber sands. The beach-like shore stretches out on either side of me, deserted but for a few sea gulls heckling over their evening meals. I watch the sun as I have for the past hour. Slowly, it creeps beneath the hills to disappear until morning. She used to say this place was beautiful at moonrise.  
A light breeze sprung up some time ago, although I can't quite remember when. Everything seems like a dream between now and what had happened only thirty-two hours ago. A bad dream I can't wake up from. A bad dream I know I'm the cause of. Because of me, she is dead.  
I blamed it on my ego when I had betrayed her. That was part of it, sure. But there's something about sneaking around, about the danger you face when you know someone could find out any moment. I love Relena more than anything, but trouble is something I can't resist getting myself into. No matter what the consequences.  
Hilde's all right and my friend, but she's not Relena. Nobody is Relena. Relena was beautiful when she smiled, and more beautiful when she was crying on my shoulder. She was a perfect lady, no, just perfect. I could remember looking into her blue-green eyes and feeling the world stop beneath me. That was nothing compared to what kissing her had been like. She had done so much for me, and I'd never meant to hurt her.  
Relena always made me feel real. I felt like a person instead of a goof-off or just Shinigami around her, but I suppose she did that for everyone.  
My hands open the plastic bag I had brought along, the bag crinkling noisily in the still air. From it, I withdraw the knife.  
Dropping the bag back onto the sand, I turn the knife over in my hands. It was mysterious, and powerful in that respect. Its deadliness called to me, and I could feel myself answering. Slowly, I walk towards the water.  
I shiver as the first cold wave drenches everything from my knees down. I raise the knife with one hand, its bloodstained blade glittering darkly in the withering light. Staring at it, so many unanswered questions blaze in my brain. What was she thinking of when darkness finally took her? Of me? Of Heero? Of something or someone else? Where had Heero gone after the shooting? Why can't the police find him or his gun? There was so much more that I longed to ask, but couldn't find the words to express.  
I bring my arm farther back, and then I suddenly snap it forward. The knife soars through the air, almost a falling star. I hear it splash as it vanishes into the dark waves.  
Wading back to shore, I see Relena's mirror in a thousand pieces on her floor. I try to remember; had it reflected my face? I didn't think so. Did I exist anymore at all? Or did I just fade away, like I thought I would if I ever lost her?  
Didn't she realize what she would do to me if she died? Couldn't she see how much I loved her? That without her, my life would shatter? 


End file.
